The marriage proposals!

Yes you did read the title correctly, proposals is plural.  I can honestly say I’ve never experienced so many declarations of love or requests for my hand in marriage than I have in these past weeks.  Even though I had been pre-warned that it is fairly common for some Ghanaian men to declare their love rather quickly, it is still something that catches you off guard, especially when you simply say “Good morning” and are responded to with “Good morning, are you married?”  Being pretty early in the day I’m slightly thrown off and say “no” quickly followed by “yes” which isn’t very convincing and own up with “no.”  This is immediately greeted by the UNKOWN man with a simple “I love you, marry me?” I continue to be surprised with the extremely forward offer of affection and commitment that I am only really able to respond with a nervous laugh and a “I’m fine just now, thank you!” - as if I had just being offered a glass of water.

While the above encounter is the pretty standard straightforward offer of marriage, others build up to it slightly more gradually.  Another morning I was running a bit late and as I crossed the road to get my trotro to work, a hawker selling cloth - probably in his early 20s - was crossing alongside me.  Very observant, he kindly pointed out that I was sweating and enquired where my handkerchief was – it’s usually at least 30C by 8am & HOT.  I informed him that I was running late and had forgotten it at home.  As this had clearly broken the ice, the next obvious thing for him to ask would be if I had a husband. A little flustered and wishing I had my handkerchief, I responded with a “not at the moment” - as if I were somehow currently in between husbands for the time being?!?  Absolutely delighted by this news, he proceeds to ask the inevitable, “Will you marry me?”  Again surprised by such a request from an absolute stranger and only moments after a brief exchange on perspiration, I can only offer a nervous laugh to which he himself was apparently surprised by and asked, “Why do you laugh at my love? If someone was selling handkerchiefs, I would buy one for you.”  As though the offer to buy me a handkerchief would solidify his request. By this time we had reached the other side of the road and must go our separate ways, me without a handkerchief and he without a fiancée.

However, not all of my discussions on matrimony with Ghanaian men have been offers of marriage.  One evening my taxi driver John – a lovely gentleman in about his mid-60s - after giving me a quick lesson in the local Ga language proceeded to tell me why I should marry a Ghanaian man over a Westerner.  Essentially, he believed that because of the differences in me being Canadian and a potential Ghanaian husband, a Ghanaian man would have a greater appreciation for me as a result of those differences.   I thanked him for looking out for my best interest and told him I’d be sure to keep it in mind.  Even though John himself was not seeking marriage, he was still looking out for his fellow countryman, which you must appreciate the solidarity.

As difficult as it might be for these pursuers to fathom, I am fine just now without a husband, especially a random one, but I may start looking to purchase myself my own token ring for the remainder of my time in Ghana, if only to reduce the frequency of proposals.  Although in doing so would likely reduce the quantity of material for future blogs, as flattering and kind as it may be, I may just have to make that sacrifice.